Road Trip
by Acepilot6
Summary: The story that began the Road series. Fixed and reposted. Phil makes amends with the one he loves. Please review!


**Road Trip**  
Acepilot

Authors Notes - First Rugrats fanfic. Phil/Kimi, mention of Tommy/Lil. Ships of preference. Hope everyone enjoys it - like most of my fanfics, it was written in the middle of the night, while I was thoroughly sleep deprived.

So if it's crap, blame how long I've been awake.

Oh, and let's say the gang are about...19? 20?

Disclaimer - Rugrats is owned by Klasky Csupo Co. and Nickelodeon. I've never seen an episode of All Grown Up in my life, except half the pilot. I hope everything seems in character.

---

Well, this was a great idea.

It's nearly ten p.m. and I'm driving down the highway with Kimmi Finster in the passenger seat, both of us awake and awkwardly silent. Because, stupid me, the last thing I said was "Hey, I can drive you."

Who offers to drive their recent ex halfway across the damn country?

But hey, it's not all my fault. Who accepts their recent ex's offer?

Three and a half hours on the road. Completely spur-of-the-moment thing. The moment has definitely passed, and we are still on the road. And we are still not talking to each other. And I'm starting to get claustrophobia.

I've got to say something. Anything is better than this deafening silence.

"So, seen any good movies lately?"

So I've been wrong a lot lately.

She turns and gives me one of those looks...well, it's hard to describe, but being in a relationship with the girl has given me an opportunity to study it really well. It's essentially her shorthand for "what are you, nuts?"

I'd try something else, but I don't think I'm that game.

"No, not really. Haven't been to a movie for a while."

A while. Like maybe since we broke up.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm tempted to bash my head against the steering wheel, but I really should keep my eyes on the road. Next time we stop somewhere, I'm finding a brick wall and giving myself a nasty concussion.

"Neither have I."

That's a little better. You don't sound like a complete moron.

The problem with this is that I'm still not clear on exactly what happened to end our relationship. I think it was amicable. I don't think it was friendly. Whatever it was, it was decisive.

I think it's most likely we just fell apart. Just fell out. I took it all for granted. I admit that.

But god I miss it now. I'd like to think I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

But there's no way in hell I'm going to broach the topic with her.

"Why did you agree to do this?"

Don't take eyes off road. Just answer while driving.

"I don't know. I've got nothing better to do?"

Lame, man. Really, really lame.

"Bullshit, Phil. I know you better than that."

She does, too.

"Well, if you know me so well, why don't you tell me why I did it?"

Much better.

"I'm still thinking about it."

Hmm...

Perfectly honestly, I really don't know why I agreed to do it. But I'm sure as hell regretting it now.

You see, when you got to know someone as...intimately, as Kimmi and I got, being in close proximity to them does something to you. And I'm not too ashamed to admit that, yeah, I'm feeling the effects of deprivation. And I've now been sitting next to her for three hours and forty-five minutes. Let's see you do better.

"Why did we break up?"

Didn't I just decide not to broach this subject?

"A lot of reasons."

Oh, come on, Finster.

"Be more specific."

Hey, might as well go all the way with it now.

"Why do you want to know?"

Take a deep breath.

"I'm still in love with you."

The way I say it, I know, makes it sound like a question. But it's not.

She knows it, I know it.

"You could have shown it more."

I nod in agreement. I don't know if she's watching me or not. Eyes on the road.

"I know. I should have."

Eyes on the road. Don't look to see her reaction. Just don't.

"You can't just apologize and expect it to make it all better."

I haven't apologized yet.

"I know I can't. I know it doesn't work like that, Kimmi."

I wish it did, sometimes.

"Then what are you doing?"

I honestly don't know.

"I'm making an effort."

I'm not looking at her, but I know she's turned to face the window. I can feel it, almost.

"Too little, too late, Phil."

Bullshit I'm giving up that easily.

"Why? Why does it have to be?"

She's turned back.

"Why does it have to be what?"

Eyes on the road. Get emotional, but don't look at her.

"Why does it have to be over? Why can't I admit I made a mistake? Why can't I tell you that I love you? Why can't I beg your forgiveness? Why can't I work for it, plead and grovel, kneel and scrape? Why can't we work it out?"

That doesn't seem finished.

"Beca-"

I cut her off. Screw politeness.

"It just ended, Kim. You never gave me a second chance."

Wrong thing to say. Wrong thing to say.

"Maybe you didn't deserve one."

Keep going. You've got her on the ropes.

"Why not?"

She's struggling. I can hear her fighting for something to say.

"Because - "

I pull the car over and unbuckle my seatbelt. There's only so much you can say to someone before you have to establish eye contact.

"Kimmi Finster, I'm in love with you, and have been for a long time. A long, long time. And I'm sorry I took you for granted, I'm sorry I didn't pay as much attention to you as I should have. I'm sorry you weren't my first priority. And I would do anything for your forgiveness. And another chance."

I remember, just barely, one time when we were about four, when I told her about the time Lil and I went flying through the window. I've still got the scar on my forehead; thankfully my hair covers it now. The look she had on her face then - wide-eyed and shocked - is the exact look she's giving me now. But now it's framed by black hair and is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

And I realize that it's the most beautiful thing I ever am going to see in my life. This gorgeous creature sitting opposite me, this one-of-a-kind girl, who was just too perfect to be true. There is never going to be another person on this planet who I feel this way about - and I know it. I don't know how I can be so sure, but I know it.

"Marry me."

Shit, did I just say that out loud?

"What?"

Yeah, apparently I did. Are eyes meant to go that wide?

"I fucked up, Kimmi. Yeah, I admit that. It was stupid, and I regret it. But there's never going to be anyone who I care for as much as you, and I know it. I don't know how, but I know it. I know you probably think this is just some dumb stunt to get you back. But it's not. I never should have left. I should have fought it out at the time. I should have done this long ago."

This is it. All or nothing. Phil DeVille has, as usual, put all his eggs in one basket.

And the woman carrying the basket is watching the first light smatterings of rain hit the windshield with a glassy look in her eyes.

This is the way you break all your eggs.

This is all Lil and Tommy's fault. Who bloody invites their friends to see them elope? This is all Chucky's fault. Why couldn't he still be at home and be able to give Kimi a lift? Damn smartass college student. It's all their fault. It's their fault that I've gone and made a big fucking fool out of myself.

"You're right, you know."

Huh?

"Pardon? Right about what?"

She turned to face me slowly.

"You should have fought it out. You shouldn't have gone without a fight."

I slowly turn my lips up in a smile.

"So my reflexes are a little slow."

Her eyes are starting to well up. God almighty. I'm going to have a crying girl on my hands.

"How do I know you mean it? How do I know you're not going to do the same thing again?"

Shit. You see, this is why I never should have broached the topic. I don't have all the answers.

"I can't give you any guarantees, Kimi. But..."

How to put this.

"But..."

She's pushy, huh.

"But being without you for the last three months, it's made me realize what I did, and what I'm missing. And it's hurt so much. It really, honestly, has. And sitting here next to you, for some four hours, all I've wanted to do is take you in my arms, to hold you, to kiss you - hell, to brush against your hand changing the radio station, for christ's sake! I miss you Kimi. And it might be too little, too late. If it is, then say so - say it, and we'll drive on like nothing ever happened. But if it isn't - if there's an inkling that we can work it out - then let's try. I don't care if you accept my proposal or not. But please. I just want to try being together again."

I didn't even realize that I've started holding her hands. They're clasped in between mine, pale and perfect, soft and beautiful sandwiched by my bludgeoning, scarred meat hooks.

I don't deserve her. Not remotely.

But I love her too much not to try.

I look up from our clasped hands to see her shaking her head.

And smiling.

"How you get me to do these things, Phil?"

And with that, I'm across the front seat in an instant, pressing my lips to hers, crushing her lightly into the passenger side door. God, how I've missed this. She's pulling me to her, and I'm pulling her to me. I can't get enough - three months is too long. And I have the knowledge that I did it myself to comfort me. Thus, I'm reluctant to break away.

But finally, oxygen is an issue.

"I love you."

It's barely a whisper, but I know she hears it.

Because she responds.

"I love you too. And yes."

What? She loves me too and yes?

"Yes what?"

I feel her shake her head under my chin.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

It's almost comical - or at least fake - the way that some people's eyes suddenly spurt with tears. The way that they come flying off the sides of their heads like some sort of cartoon.

So, I'm comical and fake.

I kiss her forehead. And, though I know we have to get going again, back on the road toward my best friend and twin sister's impromptu wedding, I just want to sit here for a while longer, and savour the feeling of her body in my arms.

I'll never take her for granted again.

----


End file.
